“You are so brave. I could never do that.”
When leaving my wildly successful mid-career to step out on my own, colleagues would frequently comment about my so-called courageous decision to leave my predictable, financially rewarding practice to build a solo practice.
I assure you, I did not feel brave. It was a risky, unfamiliar, and lonely decision born out of knowing I would regret spending my best years in perpetual burnout working for a system that did not value me or my patients.
We spend years training to be competent, knowledgeable, and decisive. Patients look to us for certainty and clarity. But there are moments when all the training in the world doesn’t hand us a neatly packaged answer. And in those moments, we feel exposed.
I’ve learned that uncertainty isn’t failure. It’s a reality of medicine. Vulnerability is not weakness. It’s a bridge that connects us to our patients, colleagues, and ourselves. It allows us to bet on ourselves and take risks in our career.
Right now, there is lots of transition happening around us. Whether we choose it or it’s forced upon us, it can stir up unease. We can feel untethered. That wobbly, unsettled feeling? That’s vulnerability in action.
Brene Brown defines vulnerability as high levels of:
- Risk
- Uncertainty
- Emotional exposure
Sound familiar? We can predict this will happen in
- promotions
- career pivots
- new relationships
- unwanted change
When life feels unpredictable and I catch myself bracing for what’s next, I try to pause and take inventory. Here’s what helps me when fear starts creeping in:
Risk:
- What is the real (absolute) risk of what I’m worried about? Has my mind jumped to the worst-case scenario? Is reality that catastrophic?
- What do I have control of to mitigate that risk? What small action can I take to feel less helpless?
- If the worst happens, can I handle it and how? This is a big one. Many of us have already survived things we thought we couldn’t. We are so much more capable than we realize.
Uncertainty:
- What do I know for sure? There are usually a few solid truths I can hold onto.
- What information do I need to make a good choice? Gathering facts helps to ground me. The unknown is usually scarier than reality.
- Who knows more about this than me and how can I ask for help? We don’t have to tackle difficult things alone.
Emotional exposure:
- How can I pace myself during this? Move at a speed that feels sustainable to you.
- How can I care for myself? Today. Not when the storm passes. Not when I have time. But today.
- Uncomfortable emotions are just biochemical reactions in my body. I can be with them and they will pass.
Vulnerability is the unstable feeling we get when we step out of our comfort zone or do something that forces us to loosen control and sit with discomfort. It can feel like standing at the edge of a cliff, fighting the urge to back away. And it is also truth and courage. We are doing so much brave, uncomfortable, exhausting work right now. You are courageous – even on days it doesn’t feel that way.
Today, do you need rest or progress? What’s one small thing you can do to move in that direction?
If you’re feeling the weight of uncertainty right now, you’re not alone. So many of us are navigating risk, big decisions, and emotional exhaustion. If you could use a space to process, gain clarity, or just connect with someone who truly understands, I’m happy to chat.
